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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28720791">Incorrect Saw Quotes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurquoiseTDW/pseuds/TurquoiseTDW'>TurquoiseTDW</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Saw (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Memes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:08:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>863</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28720791</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurquoiseTDW/pseuds/TurquoiseTDW</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just some fun Incorrect Saw Quotes because why not and all the motivation to write the Chainshipping fics I've got lined up has disappeared :/</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adam Faulkner-Stanheight &amp; Lawrence Gordon, Adam Faulkner-Stanheight/Lawrence Gordon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A LUNCH!!!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam: The food is too hot, I can't eat it.</p><p>Lawrence: You're too hot and I still eat you.</p><p>Adam: *blushes*</p><p>Lawrence: *winks at him* </p><p>Mark: One lunch. I just wanted ONE FUCKING LUNCH!!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Mark Hoffman's constant headache</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mark: I'm not doing too well.</p><p>Mark: I have this headache that comes and goes.</p><p>Amanda: *walks into the room* </p><p>Mark: oh look there it is again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. THOT!!!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Diana: What's a thot? </p><p>Adam: It's a thoughtful person.</p><p>*later at the dinner table*</p><p>Lawrence: Here's the salt, sweetheart.</p><p>Diana: thanks Daddy, you're such a thot!</p><p>Lawrence: *spits out drink*</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Where's my son?!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eric: Have you seen my son?</p><p>Eric: Average boy height, dark hair, darkish eyes.</p><p>Eric: Clearly gay but we haven't had the talk yet.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Amanda's rights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Amanda: I DO WHAT I WANT </p><p>Mark: I'm calling John.</p><p>Amanda: no wait</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. It's cold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam: It's kinda cold.</p><p>Lawrence: Here! Take my jacket </p><p>Adam: I love you </p><p>Lawrence: God, we are the perfect couple.</p><p>Peter: *looking at Mark* I'm cold, too.</p><p>Mark: Well, damn, Pete, I can't control the weather!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. GODAMNIT ADAM-</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lawrence: Recently, my family always has a problem with what I'm doing.</p><p>Adam: Probably because you're always doing me </p><p>Lawrence: *chokes on drink*</p><p>Adam: *smirks*</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. "Be Yourself?" BS!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lawrence: Just be yourself.</p><p>Adam: Be myself? Lawrence, I've got to ace this interview. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?</p><p>Scott: Couple weeks.</p><p>Amanda: Six months.</p><p>Mark: Debatable.</p><p>Adam: See, Lawrence? "Be myself". What kind of garbage advice is that?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Challenge!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mark: Do you think I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? </p><p>John: You're a hazard to yourself and society.</p><p>Amanda: And a coward. Do 20.</p><p>John: *sighs*</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chainshipping Confirmed????</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam: What are Amanda and Hoffman arguing about this time?</p><p>John: They have a bet going about what Lawrence is like in bed. Mark thinks he's secretly really frisky if you know what I mean but Amanda thinks he's 'hopelessly' romantic.</p><p>Adam: Yeah, he's actually both.</p><p>John: </p><p>Adam: </p><p>Adam: I mean-how would I know?! I don't know what Lawrence is like in bed! </p><p>Adam: but I would assume he's both.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Adam's Cute!!!!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam: How's the cutest man in the world doing? </p><p>Lawrence: *without looking up from his computer* I don't know, how are you? </p><p>Adam: *voice cracking* I'm fine.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Helpful Mr. Hoffman</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Amanda: I'm so pissed! I might LITERALLY kill someone today!</p><p>Mark: *sighs*</p><p>Mark: Let's get this fucking over with.</p><p>Mark: I'll help you set up a trap.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. John knows all...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mark: I'm not that dark.</p><p>John: Lie of the decade.</p><p>Amanda: I'm not that short!</p><p>John: Lie of the century.</p><p>Lawrence: I'm not that attracted to Adam.</p><p>John: Lie of the Universe.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Kidnapping</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jigsaw: *on phone* We have your son.</p><p>Scott: I don't have a son.</p><p>Jigsaw: Then who's throwing a massive fit, punching air and talking about lubricant and gangbangs?</p><p>Scott: oh my god you have Adam.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Amanda sets Mark straight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mark: I could kill you if I wanted to, Mandy.</p><p>Amanda: Yeah? So could another human being.</p><p>Mark:</p><p>Amanda: So could a dog.</p><p>Mark: </p><p>Amanda: So could a dedicated duck.</p><p>Mark: </p><p>Amanda: You aren't special, Hoffman.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. John's daily question</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do? </p><p>Lawrence: Have everyone stand.</p><p>Adam: Bring three more chairs! </p><p>Amanda: The best seven of the lot can sit down.</p><p>Mark: Kill three</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Mark Hoffman's logic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter: You tricked me! </p><p>Mark: I deceived you. 'Tricked' makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. The Jigsaw Team Meeting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John: Alright, I expect everyone to bring me their ideas and contributions for upcoming traps by tomorrow. Is that alright with everyone? </p><p>*everyone mumbles in agreement* </p><p>Amanda: What if we forget to bring it or don't want to? </p><p>Mark: *dead serious* I'm afraid we would have to break your legs then.</p><p>Lawrence: *chuckles slightly*</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Lawrence's Boner</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Amanda at a party: *sitting on Lynn's lap*</p><p>Adam: ...</p><p>Adam looking at Lawrence: Why don't we do stuff like that? </p><p>Lawrence pulling Adam onto his lap: Happy?</p><p>*few minutes later* </p><p>Adam: Do you seriously have a boner right now? </p><p>Lawrence: You wanted this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. The Perfect One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam: No one's perfect.</p><p>Lawrence: Meh.</p><p>Adam: ...what!? Tell me ONE person who's perfect. </p><p>Lawrence: You.</p><p>Lawrence: You're perfect for me.</p><p>Adam: .....shuddup you fucking sap.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. VINES!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam: *singing* We're two broooos! Chilling in a bathroom! Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay! </p><p>Lawrence: </p><p>Adam: </p><p>Lawrence: </p><p>Adam:</p><p>Adam: What!? This is how I cope with anxiety!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. MORE VINES!!!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mark: Let me see what you have.</p><p>Amanda: A knife! </p><p>Mark: Okay, have fu-</p><p>John: NO</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Adam's Mind Games</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam: I'm younger.</p><p>Lawrence: I'm older.</p><p>Adam: I'm shorter.</p><p>Lawrence: I'm taller.</p><p>Adam: I'm smarter.</p><p>Lawrence: I'm...not falling for that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Classic cuteness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lawrence: Watch as I hold the whole world in my hands.</p><p>Amanda: Yeah right.</p><p>Lawrence: *cups Adam's face* see? </p><p>Amanda: oh</p><p>Adam: *softly* oh</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Knowledge is Power</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Erickson: so what do you like to do?</p><p>Mark: I like to read.</p><p>Erickson: Okay, why?</p><p>Mark: Because books teach me things.</p><p>Erickson: Like what?</p><p>Mark: Did you know that if you electrocute someone while holding them underwater, it'll leave no burn marks on the body? </p><p>Erickson: ...No?</p><p>Mark: You do now. And that's the power of knowledge.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. OH SHIT-</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lawrence:</p><p>Amanda:</p><p>Mark: </p><p>John:</p><p>Lawrence:</p><p>Lawrence: *wide-eyed* SHIT-</p><p>John: What is it, doctor?</p><p>Lawrence: I forgot Adam!</p><p>Amanda: *sweats nervously*</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Lawrence's proposal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lawrence: Wanna help me with my wedding?</p><p>Adam: Oh! I didn't know you were getting married. What do you want me to do?</p><p>Lawrence: be my spouse.</p><p>Adam: *blushes madly* o-ok..</p>
  </div></div>
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